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Sectional Stereotypes

As a foreward, sorry if I bash your section too hard. I know you're not all like that. Don't kill me please!
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Top of the section-The scholars of the section, the higher chairs tend only to associate with those of their caliber. They are skilled, obviously, which lends them a certain amount of arrogance, which varies depending on the section (trumpets, I'm not pointing any fingers, but...). They are almost always in good standing with the director and will be the first to volunteer for an optional band activity. But tell us something we don't know, right?

Bottom of the section-Some laugh at them, some dread them. Either way you look at it, the top chairs don't want to go near them; they reek of a lack of talent and, frequently, intelligence. They suck and they don't care, but the director seems to be buddy-buddy with them anyway, and it kinda pisses the top chairs off. You'll hardly ever see them at optional functions. But, once again, we all knew that.


Flutes-The mere mention of the word pisses trumpets off. Flutes are so...happy? Why? They are smart, but their happiness blankets that fact. On choir days, the entire flute section seems to disappear, except for that one guy in last chair. The top of the section is not really so bad once you get to know them, but at the bottom, they're not so nice...Flutes seem to be somewhat hampered in their abilities during marching band...sorry, do you need to sit down? Is the heat too hot? Is the rain too wet?

Clarinets-Clarinets are rather dry, but at least you get to keep half of them on choir days. Clarinet guys actually do exist and can be fairly good, but there are more girls, all the same. Everybody seems to at least get along with clarients, and they're pleasant enough to have during marching season. They are kind of strange though...but in the most likeable way! Everybody likes a clarinet.

Oboes-When playing, they are shy and quiet, but otherwise they're fun and entertaining. The majority are girls from what I've seen, and also from my observations, the majority are in choir. The first of the unsung sections.

Alto Sax-"Hmm? What? Who? Oh, them? The ones who look like little bitty tenors? Yeah, I've seen them...didn't they play the melody with the French horns once?" Ah, the altos, the unsung, undistinguished section. Hey, we love ya anyway. They have about the same personality as a clarinet, only they're more down-to-earth. They're about half girls and half guys. Overall, a section clouded in mystery...

Tenor Sax-Big and loud and damn proud. Tenors tend to be kinda strange, in a tough, compensating-for-something, slightly arrogant sort of way. They're clever and sharp-witted, but with that comes arrogance. There are a few more guys than girls, so you'll rarely see a tenor running off to choir. Tenors are a fairly likeable sort, allbeit a little off. Like their alto cousins, they're fairly unsung.

Trumpets-They are the leaders of the band, the melody, to quote "Drumline", "The trumpets are the voice of the band!" This constant focus and attention has made them egocentric and fairly arrogant, but mainly to those within the section. They are in love with themselves, and they hate associating with the bottom or the top of the section, depending upon where they are. They're loud and their proud. Typical trumpet conversation with the band director; "I could have played that solo better than that." "Do you want it then." "No thanks." This laid back attitude carries throughout the section. Trumpets tend to be odd and offbeat with perverted senses of humor. They are the comic masterminds of the band. Trumpet sections are about half girls, half guys. You won't see many waltzing off to choir, and if you do, chances are they sit bottom of the section. Straight from a trumept player to you, though, we're not really as bad as we sound (Ha ha, note our section is longer than yours. Yeah, thought so!).

French Horns-French horns are the emotion, the soft, less brash side of the brass section. They recieve only slight acclaim, but they don't see to care. They are small and slight, with a little more than half being girls. A few go to choir. They are likeable, quiet people, though they do have a perverted streak. Like their second cousins, the alto saxes, they are quiet and middle-of-the-road and thus clouded in mystery.

Trombones-Very much akin to the trumpets, only they blend better with each other and are less arrogant. The top chairs are intelligent and quiet, while the bottom chairs seem to be more the trumpet type; brash, perverted, and extroverted. Like trumpets, they are smart in their own, special way. The majority is guys, but I was surprised to see girls do play the trombone. Even so, you'll hardly miss any trombones come choir days.

Euphoniums/Baritones-Sort of a combination between trombone and French horn personality. The can fluctuate. The section is fairly unsung, especially by brass standards; they can't gliss like trombones can, they don't get the melody, they have a mellow, trombone-like sound, and they don't tend to carry a lot of emotional weight. But even so, they seem to be content where they are, with an apparent lack of ambition. They're mostly guys, though I played baritone for a little while. But going from trumpet to baritone? Yeah, big change.

Tubas-They're either huge and hulking or built like a twig. There is no happy medium. But they always have a pervy sense of humor, though it's not quite as cerebral as a trumpet's. They get along with their low brass bretherin, the higher chair trumpets, and the percussion. Thanks to polka bass lines, they're the laughing stock of the band. Aw, but we like 'em anyway...well, sometimes. Sometimes they're jackasses. Girls hardly ever play tuba, and tubas hardly every join choir; singing is for girls!

Percussion-Find a tuba guy and give him a drum and TA DA! you have a percussionist. There are some girls, but it's mostly guys. They're the least band-geeky of the whole band; at half time, they'd rather be banging some girl behind the bleachers than banging a drum in the mud. As far as the girls of the section go, they seem to be the opposite of the guys; they love what they do and are insanely devoted to the act of hitting things with sticks.


I can't critique the following because my knowledge does not extend to them. Please send me your stereotypes! Now, for those sections:

Baritone (Barry) Sax

Alto Clarinet


"The trumpets are the voice of the band!!!" -Guy in Drumline