Marching Band Top 5
Sure, we al know "roll step" and "don't phase" and "keep your lines straight",
but what about predisposition and prepreporation?
1. Never be without your valve oil/slide grease/cork grease.
2. No matter what the color guard tells you, they are NOT part of the band;
they don't play an instrument and their varsity letter doesn't say band.
3. The color guard instructor is not your band director. You don't take
crap from them.
4. Don't wear flip-flops, unless you enjoy having your feet coated in mud
and slime and grass clippings, and you enjoy the feeling of gravel under your toenails.
5. You had better fold your pants on that crease or, so help you God...
Pep Band Top 5
There's not much prep for pep band; you can always go back to the band room. But
it does have rules...
1. Dynamics? What dynamics?
2. You should never be in the correct seat when the band director decides
it's time to play...
3....but you should not leave the band's bleachers!
4. Ignore the game!
5. Play as loud as you can at half time. You'll MAKE them listen!
Concert Band Top 5
Hopefully, these make concert band a little less demanding...
1. If you don't like a song, just go oil your valves.
2. Experiment with glisses; who cares if they don't belong in Pachelbel's
3. Move and sway from side to side or up and down as you play; it makes
you LOOK like you're getting into the piece. Brownie points with the band director.
4. See where you can stick vibratoes...
5. Play the cue notes...even if you're not supposed to...
Top 5 Rules for Tenor Sax
Thanks to Tim (firstname.lastname@example.org) for the submission!
1. Blast!!!! Oh ok, BE VERY LOUD!!! Otherwise you will
not be heard.
2. Don't leave your horn laying around. If it gets damaged
you have to pay quiet a bit to get it fixed. Your parents won't be too happy with you. (We all know what that means.)
3. Have a reed thats higher than a 2 1/2. If you don't
your either a newbie or you just plain suck.
4. Have fun making peoples ears ring.
5. When ever you get a chance play the lowest note you
can and BLAST IT!!!!!!
help you get through orchestra...maybe...if you're brass, that is...
1. Paying attention to the conductor is actually kind of important…
2. The only reason orchestra music exists for the brass is because the music gods sneezed on
some paper and decided to give it a title.
3. Strings are obnoxious. Get used to it.
4. Strings can never, EVER possibly understand the need to empty a spit valve.
5. No matter what the old lady who plays cello says, empty your spit on the floor and don’t
clean it up.